You know what sucks? When you’re ready, you’re willing, you’re capable of helping or of doing something for someone and they don’t want you. They think they don’t need you. The very fact that you offer yourself, you want to be there and be helpful to them seems to be overlooked, unappreciated. It’s fine if there are one or two or even three instances like that. I understand that there are issues that other people will be better confidantes for. I realize that I might not understand or that I'm not what people are looking for when they’re looking for a sympathetic ear. I don’t blame them. It’s just that I feel so…useless, and like I keep putting myself out there without any acknowledgment or reciprocation. Like I said, I don’t expect everyone (or anyone, really) to want me as a helper most of the time. It’s not a big deal. The issue is that if I’m supposed to be a friend, or to matter; shouldn’t my effort and willingness to be that listening, sympathetic person be appreciated or at the very least acknowledged?
At this point, it doesn’t seem to be. I’m not sure if it’s an issue that should just be ignored or if I should keep it in the back of my mind to be aware of. Does this person realize what they are doing? Do they know they’re pushing me away, is it intentional and planned or a by-product of too many other things going on?
Right now, I feel like I don’t matter, that my time means nothing; that their word is losing its potency and this friend isn't someone I can rely on or place hope in.
That makes me so sad.
Edit 11-26-2008
This isn't directed towards anyone who might chance upon this blog. ^_^
Posted by Unknown
This makes me very sad! You are an awesome friend! Thanks for offering to make me cookies even though I'm 2000 miles away. :) Let's hang out at christmas!
ReplyDeleteI hope that you don't feel this way about me! I miss you a lot and I think about asking you to come up and hang out a lot. Should I be doing that? i love you and I hope you're telling this person, and asking them if they want you as a friend or not.
ReplyDeleteJanae-- I don't remember feeling this way about you, ever. You're a terrific friend; you're always so good to me and you try to get me to hang out with you even though I'm a butt. I'd love to hang out with you over Christmas! I'll probably even show up this time!
ReplyDeleteSarah-- Always ask! I don't ever think to do nice things like ask people to hang out, but I would love to spend more time with you, so I should ask you, too! And to answer your questions and suggestions, I don't feel that way about you, and I started a letter to my friend after I'd written this mini "waa meeeeee" rant. ^_^
So whoever this person is, I'm guessing they either:
ReplyDelete1) Are too busy with their life that they don't realize how they're treating other people [which I've been guilty of]
2) Are trying to be rude, or
3) Haven't read the scripture "The worth of souls is great in the sight of God"
Whichever one it is, I plan on driving/flying to their house and toilet papering them - please email me the address ;) Seriously though, if anyone makes me feel useless I just distance the relationship or end it altogether. Recently this lady yelled at me when I was out-and-about and I thought, "no one deserves to be treated like that." It's a blessing there are so many happy people in the world because the few that are sour sure leave a mark :)
Tycee! I'm almost positive it's reason #1, and I know this friend is horrendously busy, so I've tried to give them a ton of slack...but...I'm glad to know that you'll gladly toilet paper them. ^_^
ReplyDeleteOh Ruthie! I will join you and Tycee in toilet papering! I hope they realize what a great friend they have....
ReplyDeleteThanks, Kareena. You're a sweetheart.
ReplyDeleteSome people.
ReplyDeleteThey are acidic I tell you. Poison.
YOU are awesome for continuing to bounce back and be friendly. That's what you are.
Thanks, my Becca. ^_^ You're kind to say so.
ReplyDelete